40+ of the Best Quotes 8-Bit Christmas

(L-r) WINSLOW FEGLEY as young Jake Doyle and STEVE ZAHN as John Doyle in New Line Cinema and HBO Max’s family film “8-BIT CHRISTMAS.” (Image from HBO Max)

8-Bit Christmas, now streaming on HBO Max, brings the magic of Christmas in the 80s to a new generation.  In the 80s, a Nintendo Entertainment System topped many holiday wish lists.  Join Jake Doyle as a young kid in the 80s who is on a quest to get one for Christmas - despite whatever challenges come his way!  8-Bit Christmas is funny and entertaining. . .with a heartfelt message that captures the true meaning of the holidays.  Check out the best quotes from 8-Bit Christmas below.


Best Quotes from 8-Bit Christmas


"You know what I want for Christmas? How about a winning team!  Any Chicago team." - Radio Announcer


"I get more calls on your phone than you do." - Annie Doyle


"When I was a kid I wanted a Nintendo worse than you want a phone." - Jake Doyle


"Is it dangerous because I might die from boredom?" - Jake Doyle


"Yeah of course.  We always wore helmets in the 80s." - Jake Doyle


"A known psycho, he had a tendency to lose his mind on a regular basis." - Jake Doyle


"Mikey Trotter.  Tough, tenacious, was allowed to watch R-rated movies and it showed." - Jake Doyle


"It was both - Tom Cruise and diarrhea.  The two are not mutually exclusive." - Jeff Farmer


"Electronic intelligence so advanced it was deemed not a video game, but an 8-bit entertainment system - Jake Doyle




(L-r) CHE TAFARI as Mikey Trotter, WINSLOW FEGLEY as young Jake Doyle and SANTINO BARNARD as Evan Olsen in New Line Cinema and HBO Max’s family film “8-BIT CHRISTMAS.” (Image from HBO Max)



"My mom was always multi-tasking - thrived on the chaos.  Two things at once, she was golden, but give her a third task to juggle things got dicey and you could get her to agree to stuff she wouldn't normally agree to." - Jake Doyle


"A kid who thinks? How refreshing! Maybe you could teach my students how to do that." - Kathy Doyle


"My dad was something of a dyslexic Bob Villa." - Jake Doyle


"It's a beautiful memory and a gross cup." - Kathy Doyle


"It's not even below zero out.  What have you been doing inside all day?" - John Doyle


"Video games make you fat, Jake.  It's a fact." - John Doyle


"Looks like a no-go on the 'Tendo." - Lizzy Doyle


"He smells like my dad after he practices guitar in the garage." - Teddy Hodges


"You have to be specially trained in Tae Kwon Do, which is like karate - just more expensive." - Timmy Keane


"Sucks to lose. . .to a girl." - Tammy Hodges


"Hey, what I can I tell you, it was the 80s - things got real." - Jake Doyle



(L-r) JUNE DIANE RAPHAEL as Kathy Doyle, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS as Jake Doyle and SOPHIA REID-GANTZERT as Annie Doyle in New Line Cinema and HBO Max’s family film “8-BIT CHRISTMAS.” (Image from HBO Max)



"It was a complicated decade." - Jake Doyle


"It was the end-o of Nintendo at the Keanes." - Jake Doyle


"Would I be arrested?  Would I go to jail?  Or worse, would I never play Nintendo again?" - Jake Doyle


"It could be 20 below with a Soviet attack on the way and we'd still have school." - Jake Doyle


"Back then people were more close minded about fashion. . .and everything else." - Jake Doyle


"It's called the Dewey Decimal System.  Right.  This is a life skill people, like cursive." - Ms. Hugo


"Connor Stump was the weirdest kid in school.  He always carried around a recorder and his lunch was almost exclusively tuna." - Jake Doyle


"What, do you have a learning disability or something? Wait. . .you don't really have a learning disability do you?" - Neighbor


"A swarm of snot-nosed Gordon Gekkos had been born." - Jake Doyle


"I won't take no for an answer.  That is the first rule of salesmanship!  The first rule!" - Josh Jagorski


"You have to do what I tell my kids in class to do everyday - make that a vacuum cleaner, suck it up and do the work." - Kathy Doyle



WINSLOW FEGLEY as young Jake Doyle in New Line Cinema and HBO Max’s family film “8-BIT CHRISTMAS.” (Image from HBO Max)


"Our yard looked like a vanilla cake that someone dumped an entire bag of chocolate chips on." - Jake Doyle


"You think I like paying taxes and talking to our neighbors?  No.  But you gotta do it." - John Doyle


"Santa didn't get me a She-Ra last year so I can't trust him.  I have to go through mom and dad." - Lizzy Doyle


"Well, turtlenecks and your parents.  Great." - John Doyle


"Everyone - no bathroom breaks.  You had your chance at home.  Do not test me." - Kathy Doyle


"Sold out in 20 minutes.  Last patch in all of Chicago.  One woman punched a grandma right in the throat.  Same family too." - Store Janitor


"Forget your sister, Jake.  She's useless." - Nintendo


"The actual cost of my retainer had been explained to me in terms of 'if you lose it, don't bother coming home.' I figured it cost roughly as much as a new car." - Jake Doyle


"Do you want to deal with your sister if she doesn't get what she wants?  I don't negotiate with terrorists." - John Doyle


"Word is you've come into a little cabbage?" - John Doyle


"It's a globe of the whole world!  All of it!" - Scout Leader


"It was like winning more school. Why had the troop leaders promised us toys and then given us books?" - Jake Doyle


"Who cares about Billy Ripken?" - Tammy Hodges


"Nice Trapper Keeper, Doyle." - Josh Jagorski


"Connor Stump wasn't a weirdo - he was a rebel.  He didn't care about being called names.  He didn't care about bullies." - Jake Doyle


"This was a tragedy so great that I'd never go to prom, never go to college, never leave the house.  I'd become a 30-year-old balding man in his parents' basement making elaborate pictures of Zelda on his Lite-Brite." - Jake Doyle


"That was the Christmas you and grandpa found your thing." - Annie Doyle


"He was a magician.  He was a hero.  He was my dad." - Jake Doyle



About 8-Bit Christmas (From HBO Max)




Starring Neil Patrick Harris, Winslow Fegley, June Diane Raphel and Steve Zahn, 8-Bit Christmas is a humorous and heartfelt look back at the adventures of childhood. Set in suburban Chicago in the late 1980s, the story centers on ten-year-old Jake Doyle’s (Fegley) herculean quest to get the latest and greatest video game system for Christmas.

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